so life in the hospital was pretty lonely. my friends came as much as they could, but it was mostly on weekends. but i did spend hours everyday with a few people who were about my age. i listened intently to these people\’s problems and these people were there to celebrate my victories. i really got to know these people, and though i couldnt talk, these people had gotten to know me. these these people were my therapists and nurses, and they had become my friends… and they wanted to fix me. the other patients were scared to talk to me because i looked depressed and helpless all the time, and i was like a ticking time bomb, i could explode into tears at any moment. so im sure i wasnt the easiest patient to face at first for even my therapists and nurses. i couldnt even do ANYTHING in therapy. i had an awful bite block, so i couldnt do anything in speech therapy, and every muscle in my body was paralyzed, so i couldnt do anything in physical therapy. but they always approached me with a smile (and some joke about duke!) i couldnt talk to them at all, i couldnt even smile back at them, but somehow, for some reason, i think they liked me…they knew little about me, probably what they could gather from the pictures in my room, but what was most important was that they fully understood what happened to me. they understood that though my entire body didnt work, my mind was as sharp as a knife. they understood my progress wasnt measured by how much i could stand or walk, but by the minuscule advancements of activity of random muscles. they understood what all i was going through, because they had dealt with somewhat similar patients. they somehow understood me and that was what i desperately needed in people, or new friends. i had a hard time trusting new people, but i trusted them…. i trusted them because my nurses were dedicated to making everyday a little happier. i trusted them because my therapists were dedicated to making me a little better everyday. but most of all, i trusted them because they were dedicated to making…miracles.
4 thoughts on “and i will try to fix you…”
I like Dia the best.
Thanks from me to all of your nurses and therapists… who were and still are there by your side everyday. Hersh, we all know you're mind is as sharp as a knife… that's why you always win in judgement, apples and in any debate we often have during our evening reunions. Your incredible progress isn't just a miracle… you work so hard, all the time… you never give up and that means that no one will ever give up in you. I Love you.
Beautifully said. I am a PT who never worked with you but have been following your blog through one of your past PTs. You are an amazing amazing person.