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My Stroke of…Luck?

All Too Well

Last Monday marked thirteen years since my stroke. Thirteen. No one ever really recognizes the day except for me, but I don’t know if I would even want them to. Waterworks here would not be able to handle it. Is it a celebratory day? Is it a sad day? Do I want to remember it? I don’t know if other people even remember. Or maybe they’re too scared to say anything. Or maybe they just…

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I Fall Apart

I’m in a “Young Stroke Survivors” group on Facebook and I saw a post the other day that said, “Today is the 19th anniversary of my stroke. It’s taken me awhile but I can say I’m happy to be alive!” It made me pause. I thought it was such a beautiful sentiment, and must be so freeing to put into words. So I was ready to write a blog here with that same sentiment –…

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Simply the Best

When I was in the ICU, the one question I couldn’t get away from, the one that terrified me more than “Am I dying?” was “Am I going to become a burden at home?” I didn’t die. I didn’t stay a frozen vegetable. I broke out. I found my get-out-of-jail-free card and I started improving. But in my eyes, I still did, in fact, become a burden. No one ever wants to use that word…

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this is me trying

I get so confused when people say they are better people because of their accident. Or that they’re so thankful for their illness. There is something in those statements that feels inauthentic, or performative in some way. It’s what people want to hear to soothe their own fears about something bad happening to their own health, but is it actually true for the person saying it? It might be 100% true for some, but it’s…

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Heat Waves

(Just a quick update, but I wanted to include this song lol) I heard Rafa was coming to play a tournament in D.C. for the first time and normally I wouldn’t think twice about it (too much effort, hard to get accessible tickets, etc). But because of yes year and all that, my brother, sister-in-law and I decided to look into it. The more we learned about it, the more excited we got. From the…

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Mr. Brightside

How am I still an optimist? You would think that the world would have beaten every last bit of positivity out of me. But no, it’s still there, sticking it’s annoying head out at every opportune moment – whispering it’s affirmations, as naive and bright-eyed as ever. These corny whispers totally ruin my street cred when I’m just trying to be a realist, or even a cynic who manages her expectations. I’d rather be happy…

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Waiting on the World to Change

“Your best days are not behind you,” said Nik, my good friend from college a few weeks ago. We were at our friend Ankur’s wedding, catching up and reminiscing like we always do. We had way too much fun in college and we know my memory is creepy-good, so it’s always wildly entertaining. But this time, he stopped me. He said that he actually hated that whenever I saw him, I only talked about our epic,…

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