a whole new world

i thought sleep was hard to come by as a second year duke medical student on rotations but sleep became near impossible as a patient in the hospital. there was a constant stream of nurses in my room all night to give me medicines, water, to turn me in bed to prevent bed sores, or to draw my blood (i do NOT have good veins, so these \’vampires\’ made my nights painful). i couldnt adjust anything on my own when i was uncomfortable so i had to wake my parents up to do it for me but i had no way of waking them up and no way of telling them what was wrong. lets just say no one got much sleep for months…i loved sleep when i actually got it. i loved sleep because i could dream and when i dreamed, i entered a whole new world. it was a beautiful world where i could walk, i could run, i could sing, i could dance. it was a wondrous world because i could be happy. then, the morning would always come and shatter my world. reality would come crashing down on my dreams. i would have to realize all over again the terrible events that had happened. i wish i had a magic lamp with a genie who could make my dreams a reality, but this wasnt a movie. but one dream actually did come true…i had this one same dream everyday in the ICU, before anything had really happened. i would go over to my neighbors house for dinner. i would sit down in a chair with my plate. when it was time to go, i would try to get up but i couldnt. i was frozen, stuck. i was so terrified because i move, and i was alone. then out of nowhere, baldeep would come in. he would gently pick me up in his arms and take me home. he would save me, everyday. and that was what was happening in real life. with his every visit, with his every phone call, with his every comforting word, with his every smile, he was picking me up, picking me up from the depths of the world, from the bottom of misery, from the pits of despair. he was saving me, everyday, and he is still doing just that…dreaming is still my favorite part of the day. every night, i close my eyes and im taken to a whole new world. there i meet baldeep and we go off to explore countless amazing places. and every morning, i fight the break of dawn, hoping to draw out every last moment of my dreams. if you are looking for me tonight, you can find me somewhere near the moon, with baldeep by my side, somewhere amongst the stars…

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