The worst nightmare

what the hell happened to me? that was one of the main questions consuming me. i didnt find out many of the details until much later.i remember praying that it was all a nightmare and that i would wake up and it would all be over. i wasnt stupid – i knew a stroke could cause this but wasnt i way too young for that? some may call me a cougar, but i was still only 23! through my anger and tears, my family and baldeep tried to explain to me what happened. let me tell you how this nightmare began… so i went to my eye doctor one morning because i had two migraine-like headaches (student health seemed pretty sure they were \”opthalmic migraines\”). the eye doctor thought this too but suddenly as i was sitting there, the room started spinning uncontrollably. i was having an episode of vertigo for the first time and i felt so nauseous. my parents took me to urgent care like we were told. they gave me a shot and right after, i felt a tingling all over my body. i tried to callout to my mom, the words were there, but my voice wasnt. then everything went black…. apparently they rushed me to the hospital,did a CT scan that didnt show anything wrong, and finally an MRI/MRA. it showed i had bilateral vertebral artery dissections causing a basilar artery clot leading to a pontine stroke (sorry very medical!) i didnt really understand it at all, but hearing those words hurt so much because they confirmed my biggest fear – that this wasnt all just a nightmare, it was my reality. why did this happen to me and could it have been prevented? these questions were killing me. the answer was that it was totally random and it couldnt have been prevented because no doctor in any ER or hospital would have expected this and would have the foresight to do an MRI/MRA. that answer was both a blessing and a curse. it made me less hard on myself but it gave me no one to blame except for God. im still praying that i will wake up one and this whole nightmare will all be over…

4 thoughts on “The worst nightmare

  1. Harshada!I JUST got back from Japan about an hour ago, so I just found out you're doing this and I can't tell you how excited I am! This will be so awesome for you and for all of us who miss being able to talk to you all the time! I am SO incredibly glad to see that you're doing so well!!!Anyway, I've of course added myself as a follower. I'm also coming down to NC August 9th or 10th and staying for awhile, so I will obviously be coming to see you soon!!!Love, Megan

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  2. how awful it must have been to contend with all of this inside your head. thank God for your wonderful family and baldeep… every word i read, i am grateful that you are able to finally express yourself again outwardly as the harshada we all know and love.

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  3. Harshie!It is SO good to hear from you and to hear what you have been thinking this whole time. I can't even begin to imagine the craziness that you've experienced, but I think that it's amazing that you are sharing some of that with us…I am looking forward to reading more girlio =). Love, sj

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